Tips to stay safe and sane over the Christmas Holidays
Christmas and the holidays can be a fun and joyous time but can also be difficult for queer young people. Spending more time than usual with family can bring about some extra challenges and tensions, especially if they’re unsupportive of your LGBTQIA+ identity.
Here are some of our tips for making it through this holiday period.
WAYS OF RESPONDING TO FAMILY
REMEMBER: IT'S OKAY NOT TO COME OUT.
The most important tip to take away is that it’s always okay not to come out. Your safety comes first, and it's your decision to make, period. If you’re planning to make the big reveal, but you're unsure if you’ll get a positive response, don’t feel any pressure to do it now.
The reality is that if things don’t go as planned, during the holidays it’s heaps harder to take time out and give your family the space they might need in order to process everything.
TRY TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL
If someone says something that upsets you, approach that emotion with curiosity and really take some time to think about it. Ask yourself: “what was it about the comment that upset me?” Was it a particular word, or a joke? How did it make you feel? Try writing these feelings down.
Often people just don’t realise the impact their words can have so, if you’re comfortable doing so, use your notes to kindly explain how you feel, or ask your family “what can we do to get along while we’re here together?”
EDUCATE YOUR FAMILY BY 'CALLING THEM IN'
One of the awesome things about being LGBTQIA+ means we know a LOT about sexuality and gender. On the flip side, it can sometimes feel like family are unsupportive because they don’t have the same knowledge levels.
There are two ways you can help other people update their knowledge levels on LGBTQIA+ topics.
If you feel open to it, you can try ‘calling in’. This is when you kindly explain a topic, and educate someone else about it. Using softer and inviting language means that someone is less likely to become defensive, and more likely to hear your point of view. This can include phrases like:
“Hey Dad, I’m not sure if you know, but lots of people find that word hurtful, and we learned at school to avoid saying it.”
“I know it’s hard, but my pronouns are ‘they/them’. It makes me feel so much more positive when you use them.”
The second way: is to share your fav queer content with them. You could recommend books, Minus18 resources, videos or even tv shows. Netflix have a heap of LGBTQIA+ movies and TV shows that you could watch together with your family and talk about afterwards.
Check out this list of Queer Xmas Films
FIND YOUR ALLIES!
If most of your family is unsupportive, these tips so far might not be an option to you. Depending on who you’re spending the holidays with, you might find there’s a person that you can bond with over cute queer content, or who can stick up for you if things get tough.
It could be someone in your house – like a sibling – or someone you’re in contact with, like a friend or another family member. Having an ally you can confide in, or who is able to do the educating on your behalf, can alleviate a lot of the pressure from you needing to do it all.
WAYS TO SUPPORT YOURSELF
Regardless of the supportive environment at home, Christmas is a stressful time for lots of reasons. Looking after yourself and your mental health is more important than ever.
STAY CONNECTED TO FRIENDS AND COMMUNITY
You can still stay connected to people online! And there are a whole bunch of events and live streams popping up to make this easier. Connecting with other LGBTQIA+ people can help you feel more positive about your identity, and soak up the positive vibes from others.
Follow LGBTQIA+ content creators, or join the Minus18 Teens Facebook Group if you’re under the age of 19. Have a chat group with your queer friends and be there to support each other even if that’s just sharing memes or photos of charismas food fails.
CREATE A SANCTUARY
Your environment can have a huge effect on mental health and how you’re feeling; get creative and think of ways to make yours extra snug. This can be a corner of your room, a patch of grass in your garden, or a space that you make up entirely in your mind. Take some alone time to be with yourself, do an activity, and use it to recharge.
You might be traveling or staying with extended family over the holidays so finding a spot that can be your go to place when you need time out is important.
REACH OUT FOR SUPPORT IF YOU NEED IT
It’s okay to not be okay. More than ever, it’s important to reach out to the people you have in your life who ARE supportive, and let them know if you’re not doing so good. If things are really hard, QLife provides support over the phone and via web-chat for the LGBTQIA+ community – they listen and can help you get through this.
QLife (3pm - 12am AEST): 1800 184 527.
MORE SUPPORTS
Headspace
headspace has a range of ways to support you online or by phone. You can get support for your mental health by simply creating a headspace account.
https://headspace.org.au/online-and-phone-support/
Kids helpline
Kids Helpline is Australia’s only free (even from a mobile), confidential 24/7 online and phone counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25.
Qualified counsellors at Kids Helpline are available via WebChat, phone or email anytime and for any reason.
1800 55 1800
https://kidshelpline.com.au/young-adults
Life line
Lifeline is Australia’s leading suicide prevention service. Providing all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support. Available by phone and online chat
13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/
Suicide Call Back
Suicide Call Back Service offers free professional 24/7 telephone counselling support to people at risk of suicide, concerned about someone at risk, bereaved by suicide and people experiencing emotional or mental health issues.
1300 659 467
Rainbow Door
Rainbow Door is a free specialist LGBTIQA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Gender Diverse, Intersex, Queer, Asexual, BrotherBoys, SisterGirls) helpline providing Information, support, and referral to all LGBTIQA+ Victorians, their friends and family during and after COVID 19.
Phone: 1800 729 367
Text: 0480 017 246
Email: support@rainbowdoor.org.au
Visit: rainbow door.org.au
